On a fine morning, in Evergreen Cafe. Mr. Wiggles is lying curled up into a ball, near the sunny spot beside the window. An Old Man enters the cafe with his cat Pumpkin and sits at the table near the counter. The cat immediately walks towards Mr. Wiggles.
Pumpkin
Hey, Mr Wiggles! How are you? You look great!
Sour Cat
Please don’t call me that, fatty.
Pumpkin
Hey! I’m not fat. I’m fluffy.
And Mr. Wiggles is your name. It’s on your collar.
Sour Cat
The old human who serves me, put that on my collar. I hate it. But, since she’s not going to be around much longer, I decided not to kill her for it. It’s really hard to make it look like an accident these days.
Pumpkin
Meohaha! Meohaha! You are right, it is hard to make it look like an accident these days. That’s why I decided to lay off the old man who feeds me.
Sour Cat
Meohaha! Meohaha!
Pumpkin
Anyways, did you hear what Mr. Orange announced at the GBM of the Federation of Felines?
Sour Cat
No. I missed the news telecast. The old lady was watching some cooking show. I couldn’t get the remote from her. What did he say?
Pumpkin
He said that we should not eat beef anymore.
Sour Cat
What?!!
Pumpkin
Yeah. He said that since we drink the cow’s milk it is holy and that we should not eat its meat.
Sour Cat
But I love beef!
Pumpkin
Yeah, me too.
Sour Cat
Who is Mr. Orange to tell me what I can eat and what I can’t. If he wants to stop eating beef, that’s up to him. He can do as he pleases. But being the chairman of the federation does not give him any right to choose what other cats can eat or can’t.
Pumpkin
That’s what I feel too. But no one seems to be bothered by his authoritarian measures. People are too blinded by the progress he is bringing to the federation.
He is the one who brought in imported kitty litter and allowed for the free movement of tuna fish across the country. Cats in the coastal areas are still pissed about that.
Sour Cat
I feel he has done a great many things for the federation too, but that does not mean he can get away with unconstitutional measures to fulfill his personal objectives.
Pumpkin
Blind fandom and praise from his supporters is what lets him get away with such measures.
Sour Cat
Hmm. I don’t really care about what the federation or Mr. Orange think. I’ll eat beef as long as I want.
Pumpkin
What if the old servant refuses to cook it for you?
The federation is coming up with a plan to advertise beef as unhealthy for cats. They’ll make it sound like it reduces your number of lives.
Sour Cat
Well, then I won’t have a choice left, would I?
I know it’s hard to make it look like an accident, but it’s not that hard.
Sour Cat Musings 